I went to the beach with G, Jonathan, and Derek like three days ago and then Derek and I went on the awesome adventure run.

We went to a comedy show (and killed a bottle of wine), we watched movies, went to the pool, went to the beach, went to eat delicious foods, wandered through cemeteries, explored thrift shops, I finally learned to skateboard (barely). 

But now I’m just fucking sad. I think I just need some time to remind myself that it was an awesome way to end a summer, but right now I just think about all the bullshit I’ve been through in the past, and how now my sadness is basically my fault. 

I know it was worth it, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to enjoy the end…

The future between us is unknown.

I need to focus on myself and how awesome Europe is going to be for me, but tonight I’m going to take sleeping pills and cuddle with a million blankets and be whiny.  

It sucks that I miss him.